Jan 2: Begin... Again.

For the first time in awhile I was actually looking forward to going to church today.  I think as people of any faith, sometimes we stray from what we believe and instead we seek other means of getting what we want out of life.  Whether we become lax because we are tired of trying to live up to impossible standards, or because we are tempted by a fleeting pleasure, or we have become complacent after years of what seems like tedious or repetitive spiritual practice, we all stumble from time to time.
I heard two testimonies today that really made me think. One was by a young man who had tried other ways to be happy, and finally realized that being close to God was the only true and lasting happiness.  He had recently decided that instead of jumping in and out of faith, he was going to take a permanent step in the right direction.  The second was an older man who had grown up in another faith and studied at a Bible college before meeting his wife who "showed him what it means to be a man of God."  He said that when we are just going along with the motions of our spiritual practice, just "showing up," we are "spiritually freeloading."  It really clicked with me because that's how I've been living for awhile now: going through the motions and constantly wondering what I'm getting out of it.  But the truth is, we only get what we give.
There are many paths to become closer to God.  And I am not suggesting any over another.  What I am suggesting, and what my challenge for today became, is to: Begin... Again.  Take a look at your life on the level that matters most- that of the soul.  Beyond your goals for the year to earn more money, fall in love, go back to school, lose weight, travel, or whatever else you may have in mind, take a look at what you believe.  And know that every moment is a chance to start over, to begin... again.

Jan 1: Start Fresh

I woke up this morning and felt stupid happy.  I was actually smiling and singing as I was making the bed.  And I hate making the bed.  What, you may ask, was the reason for this mood?  Well I'll tell you... I have no idea.

Except that lately I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do differently in my life.  And I am the kind of obsessive-neurotic person that needs a clean start, like a brand new shiny year to do it.  It's almost as if I had all of these seeds of change inside me, but I didn't let in any light until today.

And rather than thinking about all the things I want to change and getting overwhelmed and giving up, I decided to start this blog, dedicated to making small changes.  My favorite quote of all time is:

"Life isn't about finding yourself.  It's about creating yourself."


And what do you do when you want to create something? You start with a blank canvas.  So today's small change was to start fresh.  I cleaned the room, I took a bubble bath, I took care of some things I'd been avoiding, I even found time to go for a bikeride, watch the sunset, and eat a lucky bowl of black-eyed peas and rice.  And for the first time ever, the New Year actually feels like a New Year.