Saturday, April 30, 2011

April 30: Play Nice

Tension has been building between me and my sister.  It got really ugly yesterday and when she left to go out for the evening were pretty much hated each other.  A couple exchanged texts confirmed that we were going to have a serious talk about all of it.  And yet, when she came home, hours later, it was so late at night and we were both so tired, we kind of had a mutual unspoken agreement not to get into a heavy conversation about it yet.  We were so nice to each other it was as if nothing had happened.  Our moods were light, our conversation was unstrained, and today we hung out (while chaperoned by her boyfriend and our other sister) at a wedding, some sightseeing, dinner, and chillaxing with the family.  All the while, we talked, laughed, and felt completely comfortable.  I think both of us realized that even though we do need to clear the air, 1 a.m. was not the time to do it.  NEVER have important, emotional, or serious discussions late at night, it almost always ends badly.  A busy day full of fun things like today was, was not the time either.  Now when we do discuss it, we will have had time to reflect.  We'll be calmer, have better, more compassionate perspectives.  Hopefully.  Anyway, I thought it was kind of weird because this has never happened to me... ever.  Usually I resolve issues as they come, or I can't enjoy time with them until we've each had our say, made our apologies, and it feels like some healing has occurred.  I don't like things to feel aggravated and unresolved.  But sometimes I guess you have to just grow up, put your egos aside, move forward, and play nice.
If you're angry at a loved one, hug that person.  And mean it.  You may not want to hug - which is all the more reason to do so.  It's hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that's precisely what happens when we hug each other.  ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997

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