Jan 8: Just Breathe...

I have really struggled to think of a theme for today.  (Rather than coming up with it at the beginning of the day and trying to do it all day long, I look for clues throughout the day from meditations, reading, and my interactions with people.)  It was another rough day at work, and then a night that was supposed to be simple and fun, a "sisters night," ended up being kind of stressful and emotional.  Maybe that's what happens when you know people really well and you are all dealing with very unique personal battles, you turn on each other.
It seems like over the past week, as I have changed some of my attitudes and behaviors, as I have tried to find balance, positivity, and peace, things have been slowly escalating.  My surroundings have seemed more erratic, negative, and turbulent.  Things kept getting worse and worse and I felt awful.  So I tried to clear my mind and meditate for a few moments.  Not try to think of a way to fix it, not rehash all the details of it and try to figure out who was most at fault or what I should have done differently.  I just sat, and breathed.  And then I saw the starfish.
         Stars have a lot more symbolism than most people realize.  They are used in government, on country flags and military uniforms.  They are used in Hollywood, a symbol of achievement and success.  They are used by many religions to represent spiritual concepts.  For example, in some religions the star is symbolic of the human body, the four lower points being the arms and legs, and the point on top representing the head, and more specifically the mind.  When the head is atop the arms and legs, this symbolizes wisdom and control over the body.
         The one I found tonight, left on my dresser, is supposed to bring good luck.  It was given to me by my sister, the very person I've been having so much friction with lately.  Finding it there, at the moment when I thought we were far apart, was like coming home.  I thought then (as I have many times) about what an odd thing such close relationships are.  No one can make you laugh, cry, hate, or love quite as fast or as easily.  And though you'll have moments where you're really frustrated, you know that those relationships will be the ones that stick with you forever, and in the long run the little things that bother you now will seem very unimportant.